Wednesday, May 31, 2017

On the new me and other first world problems

Some of you may know, and many reading this will not that I've recently had my second child.

Hence 'the new me'.  Since the new me pushed out a mini me my body has changed BIG TIME. Unlike the last pregnancy my butt migrated to my thighs somewhere around week 36.  Hello old lady flat butt, that was unexpected (but according to Goggle not an entirely unique situation).


If you're reading this and find yourself in a postpartum funk - seriously wondering what to wear as I'm doing daily let me give you a piece of advice.  Don't search 'postpartum body dressing' or anything remotely similar on pinterest.  Don't do it.
No that is not my house....but it is the local duck pond
At least with a google search you have that buffer of words before you are bombarded with pictures of body builders with rocking abs and captions like '6 weeks postpartum' or worst; pictures of moo moos your grandma might look good in.

Isn't our backyard magnificent - Arthur's Pass National Park
More thoughts on how to handle the new me:
  • I've never owned scales and I recommend you don't either.  I weigh myself when I go to the doctor. 
  • I do own a full length mirror and I've draped that in a scarf.  I know what I look like, I don't need daily reminders.  Once a fortnight (or less) will do me thank you very much.
  • I've taken a social media sabbatical (well several actually) - for a while there I just hated everything I saw on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook....you're all very nice people.  It's not you, it's me.  I lack the time, the use of two hands, any kind of energy or vitality to do anything either a) active or b) creative.

    However I do find myself wide awake at 3am with the wee one snoring softly in my arms gazing at all your lovely creative projects and fit bodies and I find myself comparing.  So when that starts to happen I put the phone down and leave those platforms alone for a few days or weeks.

    Instead I've made an emphasis on telephoning, Skyping and talking to people face to face. Coffee is usually involved in the latter and coffee is good right now.
  • Retail therapy.  While it's true that I would like to fit my favourite skinny jeans, the reality is I'm not there and I'm not going to be there for months, or years or even ever?  Instead I have enjoyed a few retail therapy hits - think extremities - hands/feet/head - think hats, jewelry, manicures - whatever works for you.  I got this lipstick and this teething necklace recently and love both and they didn't cost much, which is also good because y'know - maternity leave austerity measures.

  • Move.  Just move any way you can.  I have signed myself up for Kangatraining and its really good and fun BUT the PSD/pelvis issues I had throughout pregnancy didn't just disappear when I had baby. More's the pity.  There is still walking, dancing, laughing - whatever can lift your mood.  Oh and there is those pelvic floor exercises (Kegels) do those, definitely, definitely do those - like every time you open the fridge or check your phone!

    Don't buy one of those wristwatch sized step counters and give yourself a goal of X steps a day. That's too close to 'I'm going to lose 10kgs in 3 months' and from there its just a slippery slope to only eating chicken and lettuce and using your child as a bodybuilding tool.  Who am I kidding - that would never happen to me, but creating another goal/responsibility and then beating myself up when I don't achieve it - yeah that could happen and I'll bet I'm not alone in that.  Which brings me on to my last thought:
  • Tell the inner voice to shut the hell up. Be realistic and focus on who you are/what you mean to others. Often we miss vital love language designed to nurture us because our headspace is so negative.

    Know that your hormones are conspiring against you but that this isn't a hopeless situation. You will move through it. If you tell the people you love you're feeling wobbly (literally and figuratively) they may frankly be relieved that your sharing/you're not crazy and it gives them something practical to help with.  My husband is now making more time for family fun on the weekends and this usually has an outdoorsy or active element - perfect!

If any of the above resonates with you, you aren't alone.  You are a product of real life, not the fake one you see in ads. You are exactly the size and shape you need to be right now.









4 comments:

  1. Amen to that. Be kind, especially to yourself, is the way to go I think! And Congratulations, what an exquisite child you made!

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    1. Thank you for the encouragement Sue, I wish I could email that to you personally but alas you're profile isn't set up that way. In any case, you just gave me a real lift! xx

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    1. *blush* *splutter* Thank you, you're a powerhouse of awesome yourself. Love your 100 day project, man the latest - about waiting for the drop to fall spoke right to me. Yikes!

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